Time to Simplify

I have not written a blog post since APRIL!?  WHAT?!  Each week, I make a to do list and WRITE BLOG POST has been on my list for weeks, actually months...apparently 4 months.  But, life has been so busy (isn't it always?) and time has just gotten away from me.  I have had lots of great ideas for blog posts, but when I sat down to write one, I would find something else to do and so I just kept putting it off.  I think part of the reason is that adjusting to our new family structure has not been easy for me.  And, I'm just not ready to put it all out there...in the world of blogs... for all to read.  So, I'm going to put a little out there now and maybe some more later, but it is definitely time to give an update.  It's been six months since we brought Eli home!  And, it is also definitely time to SIMPLIFY.  And, one way I am going to start doing that is by closing this blog page and going back to the one we had pre-Eli.  It is www.kuehnfamily.blogspot.com.  So, if you want to keep up with us there, you can.

Of course, so much has happened over the last four months, that trying to figure out how to cover it in one blog is a little overwhelming.  So, in an effort to SIMPLIFY, I'm going to just do a "life in pictures" kinda blog and show you what we've done with pictures.

End of the Year Kindergarten Party

Water Day at Mothers Morning Out

Mady's 6th Birthday

Berry Pickin with Pitty

Mady's ballet recital

Eli's first Braves Game

VBS

Summer School

Celebrating 4th of July in Wisconsin

Our 3rd grader and 1st grader heading to school

First day of Preschool

I feel a little like that person making you sit down and watch my slide show.  HA!   Lucky for you...now that we have three kids, I just feel like I've succeeded if I can find one photo from any big event in our life.  There are lots of memories from the last four months that are not shown here, but this gives you a pretty good look at our life!  Talk to you soon...in another four months!  :-)

Our new "normal"

So...I was in the shower this past weekend, which is where I do my best deep thinking!  That's right people, don't judge.  It is usually the only time I am alone, other than Eli's nap time which is crammed pack full of getting things done on my to-do list!  So, I was in the shower and I was thinking about the fact that we have been home with Eli for 2 months now.  WHAT?!  Part of me thought, has it been that long?  And, the other part thoughts, 2 months?...only 2 months?...really?!  But, as I was doing some deep thinking about this 2 month milestone, I realized that we are starting to settle into our new normal.  Not only has Eli started a new life here in Georgia, but we have all started a new life with a little 3 year old now becoming a permanent part of our family.  And, no matter how much preparation we did for his coming, no matter how many adoption books we read or how much training we did, life is different, life is new, but our new normal is SO much fuller than the one we knew before.  Sure, sometimes it is full of Eli's crazy crying fits, dirty diapers and confusing conversations.  But, other times it is full of 3 children running through our house screaming with joy as they play together; sweet prayer times watching Eli learning how to pray and hearing Trip and Mady pray for him as he listens too; all 3 kids riding bikes together in front of our house (that's right, Eli can already ride a bike),  watching Eli hunt for Easter eggs for the first time, as Trip and Mady make sure he gets plenty; opportunities to be loved on by our dear friends and family taking Trip and Mady out for fun memories, bringing meals or just visiting;  decoding sweet Eli as he tries so hard to learn English and talk to us; the joy of seeing TJ being such an amazing dad to all 3 kids, and most of all our new normal life is full of being a part of sharing God's redeeming love with Eli!  What a blessing!  Because of HIS love, we all have a new life and I am so happy to share that with my 3 crazy kids and goofy husband!

Baseball!

Fun at Kaki and Grandad's

Fun at Kaki and Grandad's

3 silly boys and a princess

Climbing trees in Athens

Are you sure there is candy in here?!

Easter morning, Eli can't seem to find his real smile!

One Month Anniversary

That's right people, it's been exactly one month since we got home with Eli from China.  In fact, it's almost exactly one month, because we landed in Atlanta around this time a on February 20th!  So crazy to think about!  On the one hand, it feels like this month has flown by.  On the other hand, it feels like I've been watching the clock tick by as I spend each morning going "vrooom" with Eli and his cars.  I will not sit here and lie and say that this month has been easy.  It has probably been one of the hardest months of my life, but it has also been filled with many blessings too.  I am finding it completely necessary to take joy in the little glimpses I see each day of God's plan for our family.  I'll get back to Eli and how he is embracing his new life.  But first, I want to thank all of our friends and family for the way that you have each been part of these daily blessings for our family.  You've called, texted and emailed to let us know you are thinking of and praying for us, you've brought us delicious meals, you've sent sweet gifts (not just to Eli, but also Trip and Mady...and me), you've picked my "big" kids up from school, helped them with homework, carted them to activities, and just loved on them.  You've brought me lunch, joined Eli and I for walks, and made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.  We can really never say thank you enough to all of you!  On the hard days, when I can barely hold it together, you have been there for me and my family and that is all  I need to keep me going.  I thank God for each one of you every day, because he is using you to care for us, so that we can care for Eli and each other.
Now, back to Eli.  So, Eli is a 3 year old boy, that is emotionally more like a 2 year old boy...so we all know what that means...DOUBLE WHAMMY.  And, throw in the fact that he doesn't speak our language, and you've got one crazy combination.  Sometimes that crazy comes out screaming, face planting in the middle of the road and throwing food, making the rest of us want to run and hide.  Other times, that crazy comes out in silly, loud nonsense at the dinner table, making all of us laugh hysterically.  But, the best, is when that crazy comes out with huge smiles, hugs for everyone and big, wet smooches too!  So, let's focus on the good kinda crazy...its much more fun that way.  Here are a few of my favorite things about Eli:
**The way he says certain things in English, like airplane and bye bye, golf cart and the best is "I Love You."  He tries so hard to communicate with us, whether its with words or pointing or walking us over to what he needs.
**How he now calls any car, "Mater."  One day, after he sees the Cars movie 100 times, maybe he will understand that Mater is the redneck tow truck.
**  How excited he gets to pick up Trip and Mady at the bus stop!  He will slap me on the arm and yell, "Busey!"
**The way he will take an unfamiliar food and smell it before he will try it and then gives it either a "YUCKY!"  or "YUMMY!" rating.
**His sweet little hugs where he pats our backs like a grown up.
**The way he sticks out his lips like a monkey when he wants a kiss.
**The cute way he dances around when he is excited
**The amount of laughter I hear coming from the bathroom when TJ is giving him baths.
**When he gets tickled or a zerbert or a ride on TJ's shoulders, he wants the rest of us to get to take part in the fun too and will insist that TJ do the same to each one of us.  That's right, I am now getting regular shoulder rides on TJ.  Lucky TJ!  HA!
**The way he tries to say the blessing at dinner each night...especially how he waits for the big final, "AAAAAMEN!!!""

I could keep going, but these give you a good picture of his sweet spots.  And, even though, the next time you see me, I may look totally frazzled and my biological kids may tell you that I've lost it, I have not lost hope or sight of God's plans for our family and  I know Eli is learning that he is loved, that he is wanted and that he is special and that he has a family...FOREVER!  And, I am privileged to have a front row seat for that and to be surrounded by such an amazing community of support!

 

Eli one month ago at the Atlanta airport

Eli today (after an at-home haircut)

Details on Eli's transition

First….let me say once again how grateful we are for all of your prayers and support. It has been so great to hear from so many friends and loved ones throughout the last few weeks.  Our first week home has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe we’ve now had Eli with us for almost 3 weeks!  I know I have had conversations with many of you on what we are doing to help Eli transition into our family.  But, this process so goes against anything any of us have ever done, so I wanted to take a minute to really give you perspective from Eli’s standpoint.  I am stealing much of this from another Lifeline family who is in China now getting their daughter, but I thought it was such a thorough explanation that I wanted to share it with you all too.  It’s long, so get ready…

Our biggest concern at this point is the emotional health of our son. In his short life, he will have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than many adults could handle.  While he may not consciously remember the events, he will still experience immense loss, including feelings of grief and trauma. He’s already experienced the loss of a birthmother and the loss of a foster family as well as the sights, smells, and language of his birth country. His world has turned upside down. He will struggle with feeling safe and secure and he may lack the ability to trust that we will meet his needs.

We have been waiting anxiously for Eli to arrive but he has not been waiting for us. He may show his grief and confusion in many ways and we are prepared to help him through it and prove that we are his permanent family and this truly is his last stop. We trust that as our family and friends you will help us to do what is best for our son, and we thank you in advance for your support and understanding.

A couple requests:

For the first few weeks home, we ask that you don’t ask to hold him or give him anything (even a dropped toy) For a while, we need to be the only ones who hold him, change him, feed him, instruct him, snuggle him, gives him toys, basically meet any of his needs (big or small). If he reaches for you, please smile and point him back to us. If you have special gifts, you can save them for later or give them to us to give to him. He needs to see that we are the ones that things go through for him. We know how hard it will be for you in the beginning to not hug and hold him, give him food, or offer him a drink. We understand that some of you have waited and anticipated his arrival as much as we have, but we promise you that the reward will be great! Once he is securely attached to us, he will be able to give love to and receive love from all the other very important people in his life. In time, when he understands we are “his people” you will be encouraged to give out plenty of hugs, kisses and snuggles.

Think of it from Eli’s perspective. Just a few weeks before he sees you, he will have met four strangers (us) who sound different and look different than anyone he has ever seen, who took him away from everything that was familiar to him. At 3 years old, after spending a couple of weeks starting to bond with us, he has no idea if the next strangers he meets are going to then take him away as well. We are willing to do whatever we can to help him learn that he can trust that we are his for good. He will have to learn that we are the ones who meet his needs, who love and care for him in a different way than others, who make decisions for him and are his family.

You may see Eli and think he is friendly and adaptable and adjusting so well because he may happily go to anyone. This is actually a survival mechanism that children in orphanages pick up. They learn to be charming and cute towards adults to have their needs met and get what they want. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone – which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. We want Eli to turn to us when he is hurt, hungry, tired or sad, not just the closest adult around. Until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct him to us if you see that he is seeking out food, affection or comfort.

This is hard especially for extended family.  It will be hard for us too because we want so much for him to bond with all of you. But we have to trust what the attachment/adoption experts have told us on this and do what is best for our son.  They recommend that we have a time of “cocooning” with Eli, a time where we focus on connecting and bonding as a family and help him to learn that we are his family and we aren’t going anywhere. Helping him to create a security in his identity as son and brother is vastly important to his attachment in the long run. We have learned from other families who have adopted before us that when an adopted child develops a strong bond with a grandparent or other family member or friend before the parents, it can significantly delay and complicate attachment. We have spent time focusing on building bonds between our extended family and Trip and Mady, and want to do the same with Eli, but this will have to be at a slower pace because it is so important for him that he bond with us first. Biological children form this attachment quickly and easily as newborns. In fact, they do a lot of things naturally that an adopted child may have to learn.

So basically, with adoption, it's backwards. 

Where we may have encouraged our bio kids to be comfortable being held by others or taken care of by others, we will have to help Eli first do what biological children naturally do – prefer us and trust us more than others. Where we may encourage Trip and Mady to be “tough” or “shake it off” when they are hurt, we may make a huge deal over a little scrape so that Eli begins to trust that we are going to care about his hurts in a way that no one has before and that he can seek us out for comfort. With Trip and Mady we may encourage independence and we may let them work through things that are upsetting to them in a way that we won’t do with Eli in the beginning. You may see us keeping Eli close and carried around like a baby. We may feed him a bottle, let him sleep in our bed, and in general treat him like an infant. It may seem like we spoil him or like we are keeping him from others. Please understand that this is all based on a lot of research and what we have been taught is for the good of his attachment. Please understand that we want our friends and family to bond with him. We just have to do it on his time.

How long will that take? We have no idea. We have been told a few weeks to a few months or longer. We will look for signs that he is securely attaching to us and follow that. We are optimistic that, having been part of a foster family, it won’t take him as long to attach as if he had been in the orphanage, because hopefully he has learned what a family looks like and learned how to securely attach. But we just don’t know yet.

So, we don't want anyone to have their feelings hurt or feel that we are keeping him from all of you. Everyone in our community and family have been a huge part of this journey and helping us financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So, we are asking you to join us on the second part. This isn't the glamorous part. This isn't just the precious adorable smiling child, or the energy of fundraising. This is when we parent and love and grow into a family with a new child who has come from a hard place.

This does not mean we do not want visitors or that we want to be left alone! Quite the opposite, we very much welcome visitors and want you to meet Eli. Please call or text any time and let us know you want to come over and if it is a good time, we would love to have you. We welcome any of our friends to come over just to visit, play, bring food, take Trip and Mady out to do something fun, etc. In fact, now that TJ is back to work and Trip and Mady are in school all day, I will probably be going stir crazy and will welcome a chance to have company! We just ask that when you are there you keep these things in mind and point Eli to us to meet any need he may have.

We also ask that whenever you see us, you please pay lots of attention to Trip and Mady, too. They will need lots of extra attention and nurture as their little worlds are turned upside down too and we will be needing to focus so much attention on their new little brother. 

Also, if you have any questions on the attachment or don't get why we are doing something, please feel free to ask us! We are not offended by questions and we will explain it the best we know how.

We so appreciate all your support in this adjustment. Thank you for loving us, giving us so much grace, and being with us through all of this.

We would love for you to pray for Eli as he learns to trust and to love us in return.

China in pictures

Here is a look at our trip to China in pictures.  These are just from our camera.  Most of the ones I took on the phone have already made it onto facebook.  :-)

Gotcha Eli!

Our family with Eli's orphanage administrator, foster mom and nanny (left to right)

Eli with his foster mom and nanny (left to right)

Playing bubbles!

Filling out paperwork

Waiting in a warm bank for our dirver...

Our favorite way to dine in Changsha...hotel room picnic

Visiting the orphanage...Orphanage director, Eli's foster family and orphanage administrator (left to right)

Touring the orphanage

Eli's buliding

Going away party for Eli

Eli's finding spot

It's official!

Touring in Guangzhou

Eli's favorite spot in any hotel room...looking out the window

Dinner cruise

Our three kids!

Special Days

We have had two very special days come and go and I am just now getting around to writing about them.  I think this busyness might just be a small look into what life will be like once we are home with Eli.  December 31, 2013 will go down as a HUGE day in the history of our family.  First of all, our sweet Trip got braces!   What?!  How is that possible?  He still has baby teeth.  True, but the permanent teeth that have come in have no place to go and so we need to go ahead and make space for them.  So, we had step one of phase one on December 31st...braces on his top 4 permanent teeth as well as his two baby eye teeth.  There might be more steps to this phase, but we know for sure that these will be off in 8-10 months and then he'll probably need more work when he is older.  FUN for Trip!

We arrived a few minutes early to the BIG appointment, so before we headed into the orthodontist's office, I checked my phone to see if I had any new emails.  Boy did I ever!  Probably my favorite email so far!  We had a confirmed appointment for our court date to adopt Eli!  This meant we could go ahead and book our travel.  But, the best part about the date we received is that it made it possible for Trip and Mady to come with us.  They will only be missing school for 8 days, so they will not run the risk of being withdrawn from school for too many absences in a semester.  I shared the awesome news with Trip and he could not have been more excited!  Mady was too when she came home from her friend's house after the appointment.  In fact, I think she has tried to pack her suitcase at least 5 times since I told her they were coming with us!  Then, just when I thought things couldn't get better, I got an email from the woman in China that helps us send our children care packages.  We sent Eli a birthday party package on his birthday which includes a cake and food for Eli and the other children and the nannies at the orphanage.  And, for us, includes more pictures and a video of our sweet boy!  What a treat!  To know that we are coming to get him so soon and then to see his precious face and hear his adorable voice singing to us in Chinese.  Oh my!  I cannot get enough of it.  Below is my favorite picture from the party.  Looks like he really enjoys cake.  I cannot wait to see him eat cake in person and get to be the one to wipe off those cute cheeks!  Thank you Lord, for days like December 31st that remind me of your provision for us and your plans for our family!

Onto the next special day for us, January 10th.  Last Friday was January 10th.  Which may not seem like much, but that is exactly one month from the day we will get Eli!  In adoption world, it's called Gotcha Day!  One month!  It seems so far, but yet, it's only 30 days.  I was sharing this with my teens that I lead at bible study on Friday.  And, as I thought about it, I realized this.  That in exactly one month, we will be holding Eli in our arms, and chances are that also in exactly one month, he will be screaming at us in Chinese, or pushing us, or ignoring us, but either way, he will be with us...FOREVER!  Screaming, pushing, or hugging, no matter what he will be forever ours!  What a blessing!  So, let the countdown begin...27 days and counting!

The last time

Yesterday, December 27th, Eli celebrated his birthday at the orphanage for the LAST TIME!  My heart breaks that we could not be there to celebrate with him.  But, I take great comfort knowing that it is his last birthday away from us.  His last birthday in China.  His last birthday without a brother and sister begging to play with his new toys.  His last birthday without a mommy and daddy to kiss him first thing that morning and tell him "We are SO glad you were born!"  I also take comfort knowing that he got to have a birthday party.  Our wonderful agency provides us with a contact in China that will send care packages to our little ones while they wait for us and one of those options is a birthday party for Eli and his friends and caregivers at the orphanage.  We should be getting pictures soon and I am checking my email hourly in search of them.  I am also checking my email hourly or even more frequently than that, hoping for some information on our travel approval and plans.  Again, I take comfort knowing that God's got this and His timing is perfect and we will be there to get Eli and bring him home at just the right time...but it is HARD to wait!!!

Over the next few weeks, Eli will be experiencing a lot of lasts, although he probably has no idea that he is.  I pray that God is preparing his heart for all of the firsts he has coming his way too.  His first time to be loved unconditionally in this world.  His first time to be kissed good night.  His first time to eat a McDonald's happy meal.  His first time to be comforted by his mommy or daddy when he gets a boo boo.  His first time to have a family...mommy, daddy, brother, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and more.  All of whom have been praying for him and can't wait to meet him!  Happy Birthday, sweet boy!

Overwhelmed!

The only word that comes remotely close to how I have been feeling this week is overwhelmed!  Last week was one of those weeks in the adoption process where I felt incredibly deflated.  Our paperwork had been slowed down, just by a few days, but enough to pretty much remove the chance of us traveling in 2013.  And, so I was upset knowing that might impact TJ's vacation time in 2014 and Trip and Mady's ability to travel with us without being withdrawn from school.  I know (and I truly believe) that God's timing is perfect, but I fight against that when His timing and my timing do not line up.  And, let's be honest, most of the time, they do not.  But, all of the time, HIS timing is best!  

Which brings me to this week!  What a week!  God has taken my sadness and anger away and replaced it with an overwhelming joy and appreciation for all He is doing in the life of our family.  And, so many of you have been a part of that!  On Tuesday, I received an email from Promise 686.  This is the ministry that awarded us a $4000 matching grant to help pay for our remaining adoption expenses.  So, as most of you know, the deal was this...we raise $4000, they match that and we get a total of $8000 toward our remaining expenses.  Well...we FAR surpassed this goal!  We raised over $6,000, so with the matching $4,000, we raised over $10,000!!!!  What wonderful, selfless, giving friends and family we are surrounded by!  The even more amazing thing about this amount we raised is that our remaining agency fees and in country expenses are estimated to be about $10,500-$11,500, so we will be covered!  God IS SO GOOD!   

And, then, today we received an update on Eli.  The last medical information we have on him is from when he was a baby.  And, we only have 2 pictures and a short video.  We have been aching for an update.  Today we got his measurements, a precious description of him and a new pic!  He looks so good!  And, here is the description (keep in mind it is translated from Chinese):

He is such a smart boy. He can remember so many children songs. He can count up to 20. He is very active. And he is a full boy. He likes to help other children on wheelchair on the way to school. He also likes to help to comfort younger children when they feel upset. 

Is it weird that I feel such pride to be his momma even though I have nothing to do with the sweet boy he is today!  I just can't wait to meet him!  This is the photo we got today.

THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!!  There is no way I can ever tell each of you how much your love and support means to us.  It is overwhelming!  Please keep praying with us that God will prepare his heart to be loved by us and prepare our family to become a 5 man team in HIS perfect timing!!

Helping us bring Eli Home…

Well, we are just a few months away from traveling to China to bring our precious Eli home!  We are anxiously awaiting the moment we finally have a travel date in our hands!  Until then, we still have lots to do to prepare for his arrival.  The biggest challenge for us is not opening our hearts and home to another child, but it is in finding the finances to make this happen.  We estimate our total cost for adoption fees, document preparation, home study, airfare, travel, attorney fees, etc. to be $30,000 - that’s certainly money we don’t have, but we know God is faithful and is leading us to trust Him.  By God’s grace and generous giving from our friends and family, we’ve been able to pay the initial $10,000.

Many of you have asked how you can help us.  There are two BIG ways in which you can help us with these final steps in our adoption process:

1. Prayer – Please pray God would tenderly care for Eli in China until we are able to bring him home, that God would prepare Trip and Mady for the upcoming changes to our family, and that God will give us wisdom, discernment, and insight as we raise Eli in our forever family! 

2.  Financial support -   Will you please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help us pay the remaining $20,000 in adoption expenses, to bring Eli home?

Promise686 (www.promise686.org) has graciously given a Matching Grant of $4,000 to help bring Eli home. If you would like to be a part of bringing Eli home, you can send your tax-deductible gift to the address below.  Your donations will be matched by promise686 on a $1-for-$1 basis up to $4000.  Promise686 will reimburse adoption expenses out of funds received.  Promise686 is a non-profit adoption and foster care ministry dedicated to expanding God’s Kingdom by helping to bring the fatherless into Christian homes.  Promise686 is a tax exempt 501c3 organization and your gift is tax deductible.

You can make your donations to Promise686 one of two ways.  Either CLICK HERE to make an online donation.  Or follow the steps below to send in a check:

1.      Please make checks payable to:  Promise686, Inc. You must preference how the donation is to be used by writing “Eli Kuehn Adoption-178” in the memo section of your check. 

(*Note:  per IRS guidelines, promise686 maintains complete discretion and control over the use of all donated funds, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.)

2.      Mail checks to:

Promise686, Inc

3600 River Ferry Drive

Johns Creek, GA 30022

We are hoping to be able to bring Eli home early in 2014, so we have a small window of time to raise the money for our remaining expenses.  Thank you for loving our family and supporting our adoption!  We look forward to personally introducing you all to Eli in 2014!

LOA!!!!

This says LOA.  I cannot get it to turn the right way on this blog...you get the idea.  

One of the silly things that adoptive families do on the adoption groups that can be found on sites like facebook is to take creative pictures spelling out the latest acronym for the step of the process they have moved to.  China adoptions, in particular have lots of acronyms.  Here are just a few: LID, PA, LOA, TA, etc...  So, here is my attempt at a cute picture spelling out our next step using some of the kids candy from Halloween because that was the day we moved to this next step.  It is known in the world of Chinese adoptions as LOA, which stands for Letter of Approval.  That means that our paperwork has made it back from China and we are officially approved to adopt Eli!  This is a BIG step forward for us!  Once again, just as I was beginning to get uncomfortable at our lack of movement, God moves and so does our process!  We are one step closer to bringing Eli home!!!   One step closer to having him here, sleeping soundly in his bedroom that he will share with Trip.  One step closer to being able to kiss his sweet little head.  One step closer to telling him daily how special he is and how much we all love him.   One step closer to completing our family!  I am ready to just start taking huge, giant steps or even running to bring this wait to an end, but I trust God's timing is perfect and so I'll just keep stepping, one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

Trip and Mady saving a seat for Eli!

Counting our blessings!

It is so easy for me to get caught up in the stresses of this adoption process, that I often lose sight of the many ways God has blessed us over this past year.  So, I wanted to take just a moment and count our blessings!

Blessing #1: Being surrounded by a community of adoption supporters...Before TJ and I even knew that this was in God's plan for our family God was surrounding us with a community of adoption supporters.  It seems like every where we turn we have friends that are either adopting themselves, becoming foster parents, connecting us with other adopting friends, even placing Trip on a soccer team last year with a family that had just adopted from Ethiopia and then this year placing Mady in a Kindergarten class with a precious little girl that was adopted from China and has the same special need as Eli!  

Blessing #2: Being born into families with hearts for adoption...This may surprise our families to know this, but TJ and I both come from families that created in us a desire to bring others into our families.  First, when TJ was a Senior in high school his aunt died after a long battle with cancer.  She had three amazing daughters and TJ's family welcomed them into their family without hesitation and they are more like sisters than cousins.  Being witness to such commitment to family, was TJ's first glimpse into the world of adoption.  When I was growing up, my parents often talked of a dream they had for their retirement.  They wanted to buy a big farm and take in foster children and love on them.  It was listening to conversations like this that first planted the seeds of adoption in my heart.

Blessing #3: Being connected with the right people at the right time...God continues to bring just the right people into our lives at the perfect time.  For example, as we reviewed medical files on each child we were asked to consider, God place the perfect expert on their particular medical condition in our path.  It was really amazing!  I now know people that are experts in pediatric limb deficiencies, hearing loss, heart conditions, as well as physical therapists and radiologists!  And, I feel like TJ and I know so much more about the many medical conditions that can affect children.  So...if you have a question, we probably have an answer, or at least know of someone else that does.  :-)

Blessing #4: Being overwhelmingly surprised by the financial outpouring from our friends and family...If you are reading this and thinking, maybe she is talking about us...then I am!  Our friends and family are amazing givers!  We have never before been so blessed to see people step up, without being asked, and help us financially afford to bring Eli home .  And, your gifts come at just the right time and in just the right amount!   In fact, a few days after I first began writing this post, we found out about our most recent financial blessing.  We have been approved for a matching grant from Promise 686!  Stay tuned for more details on how you can help us raise the funds to finish paying for Eli's adoption.

Blessing #5: Most importantly, being given the amazing opportunity to add to our family through adoption...The biggest blessing of all, is Eli!  It is a blessing to be a parent, whether the children are given to you biologically or through adoption.  But, I consider it a gracious gift to be allowed to take a child of God that has been abandoned and knit him into our family!  What a privilege!

One of my favorite songs lately is called 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redmond.  It helps me remember to focus on the blessings!  Below are some of the lyrics:

The sun comes up; it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I worship Your holy name

Introducing....Eli Kuehn!

I am SO excited to finally get to write this blog post!  Here is our sweet son, Eli Kuehn!  We can officially share his picture with the world!  And, we cannot wait to fly across the world to bring him home!  In this next week, he will receive a special care package from us.  It includes new shoes for him, 30 pairs of socks for his friends at the orphanage, treats for his nannies and a picture album of his family!  I wish I could be there to see his sweet, little face when he first sees our pictures.  I wonder what his precious two year old mind will be able to understand about these strangers who already love him and cannot wait to hold him.  Can he even imagine the plans his big brother and sister are making for his life here with us?  Will he be excited, confused, scared, nervous?  I am praying daily for God to prepare Eli's heart to accept our unconditional love for him and to know us as his forever family.

Often our friends and family ask how they can help.  And, there are really so many ways.  Most importantly, pray with us and for us as we move through this process of adoption and especially once we bring Eli home and begin showing him what it means to be a part of a family and loved unconditionally.  And, of course we still have a lot of expenses coming up, for example, agency fees, travel fees, citizenship and immigration fees, foreign country program expenses, etc...  So, we can always use your financial help as well.  At the top of our blog are a few ways you can give financially.  Our newest opportunity is through our Etsy store.  TJ has created these adorable family cartoons that depict your family's unique story and design.  Check it out!  They make great gifts.  We have also applied for a matching grant that will take your monetary donations and match them up to $4000.  We should know if we get approved for that in the next month or so, so check back to the blog for updates on that.

We are so blessed to be surrounded by such an amazing community of friends and family.  Eli is already loved by so many!  Each time I look at his adorable face, I am amazed at what a gift he is and how fortunate we are to have been allowed the opportunity to be his family!

"Even before he made the world, God chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ..." Ephesians 1:4-5

It's a match!

After months of paperwork, emotional ups and downs, fingerprints and background checks, reviewing more medical records than a medical student...we have finally been matched with a child!  We cannot post his picture yet, but will as soon as we have the thumbs up from our agency.  He is a 2 year old boy from China!  He will be three in December (that's right, another December birthday in our family)!  And, we are hoping to bring him home sometime early next year.  He has a form of spina bifida which has been surgically corrected and he seems to be doing just fine now.  He is walking, running, talking and his caretakers say he is a happy boy.

He, of course, has a Chinese name, that we have no idea how to pronounce correctly.  We have chosen to give him an American name too.  In honor of his nickname for the last year, as we prayed for this nameless, faceless child, "Little E," we're giving him the name of Eli.  With Trip and Mady, we chose their names for various reasons, Trip is a nickname for being the third Thomas John Kuehn in our family, and Madeline was a name that TJ and I both really liked for a girl and it turns out her initials (MGK) are the same as my grandmother.  With Eli, we felt like since we were basically taking away his Chinese name, there needed to be a reason behind the choice we made for his name.  And, of course, there is not just one reason, there are many:

First, as I mentioned before, we've been calling him Little E for a year now, so a name beginning with E just made since.

Second, it was a little boy named Eli that first started our conversations about adding to our family through adoption.

Third, Eli is a priest in the Old Testament.  It is the priest that Hannah leaves her son, Samuel with after God hears her prayers and blesses her with a son...much like he has blessed us with all of our children.

And, finally, Eli means high, uplifted, ascend.  And, we have been lifting Eli up for the last year, so it seems appropriate!

Trip and Mady are excited to meet Eli.  They are already planning what to show him when he first comes home, how to teach him English, where he will sit in the car and at the table, all the important details of joining our family!  We cannot wait to meet him in person!  Please lift him up by name as we wait to bring him home!  Begin praying now for God to open his heart to be loved by us!

On the move...

To say the last few weeks have been emotional, would not even begin to fully describe our adoption journey's recent ups and downs.  It really is like being on this crazy roller coaster...one minute you are climbing up this hill that is taking forever, and then, the next thing you know, you are flying, moving full speed ahead, completely unable to see the next twists and turns.  Ever since we completed our home study back in May, we've been on a slow, steady climb, waiting for it to be authenticated so we could send it to China.  Recently, while we were waiting patiently, a child was brought to us to consider for adoption.  After much prayer, medical research and many discussions, we made the decision to say yes to this precious child, only to find out less than 24 hours later that he'd already been matched.  The reasons behind the mistake are too long and boring to explain in this blog, but nonetheless, we were heartbroken.  Our hearts have been healing the last couple of weeks as we begin to wait again, hopeful for what and who God has planned for our family.  And, yesterday, we began the move again, the climb up our next hill.  Not to another child yet, but to China.  Our dossier (adoption paperwork) is officially on it's way to China, the birthplace of our next child!  It has been about a year since we first applied with our agency to begin this journey!   And, our paperwork is finally out of the US and on it's way to China!  I must admit, I'm a little in disbelief that we have finally reached this milestone.  Sometimes in the drudge of the paperwork and the disappointment of unmet expectations, you begin to lose sight of what brought you to this place to begin with.  But, with this exciting news, I am reminded that God's plans for us are perfect.  They are to give us hope and a future, and not to harm us.  His timing is perfect and He has already chosen the child that will be joining our family.  And, I for one, cannot wait to meet him or her!  So, I'm jumping back on the roller coaster, strapping myself in and holding on for the ride!

Our freedom

So, I sat down on this 4th of July night to fill you all in on our adoption process.  But, as I am sitting here listening to the loud bangs of our neighbors trying to shoot of some kind of firework spectacular to make up for the one cancelled today, I am incredibly aware of how amazing our freedom is!  Lately, TJ and I have been so bogged down in this process and all the little things that are holding it back.  We complain about the crazy amount of paperwork, how many times we've been fingerprinted, how many times we've signed our names.  But, really, that is such a blessing.  Because we live in this amazing, free, country we have the right to add to our family in this unique way.  We have the freedom to create as many children of our own biologically as we like and also the right to adopt as many children as we like.  That is really amazing.  Many of the sweet children waiting for homes in China, come from a family that has been denied those rights.  And, so now, they need a home, a place to be loved, a forever family.  I hear these "booms" (as sweet Mady calls them, who, by the way, has been in my room a million times already tonight asking about the noise) and think they sound like gunfire or bombs going off and I think of the thousands of orphans who live in a place where that does happen on a nightly basis, and not as some kind of patriotic celebration.  So what if I have to be fingerprinted a million times or fill out the same paperwork over and over again.  I will do it all, whatever it takes if that gets me one step (even a tiny step) closer to bringing home "one more Kuehn."  So, here we are, our Immigration approval has finally come through and now all of our paperwork is being sent to be authenticated before it is sent to China!  I am sure this is not the end of the paperwork, nor will it be the last time our process is held up.  But, I am also equally as sure that one future 4th of July (maybe even next year), we will have one other sweet little one, wearing red, white and blue, waving an American flag and watching the "booms!" God Bless America!

With your help...

I was reflecting the other day on how amazed TJ and I were at the outpouring of support we received after sending out our early Christmas card.  Not only did our friends and family join us in prayer, but they also joined us financially and both of those are such blessings!  As I was thinking about this, it occurred to me that I never officially posted about how your support has helped us.  From the time we sent out our Christmas card (right around Thanksgiving) up to today, we have raised $4,206!  That is amazing!  Thank you to all of you that are supporting our family and our adoption, whether its financially  in prayer, or just in being there as a friend when we need someone to talk to about this crazy process!  You will never know how much your support means to us and how much it inspires us to keep going when we get bogged down in the details of the paperwork and the process.

After making the switch to China, we've had to make some changes to our home study.  So, we are NOW finally finished with our home study and it should be sent to Immigration this week!  The movement in this whole process is so up and down.  One minute you are racing to finish some piece of paperwork and the next minute you are stuck waiting for a response for months.  So, as we move into a time of waiting again, we are looking for ways to continue to fund our adoption.  We are completely open to any suggestions, so please feel free to send them our way.  You can all continue to use the shopping buttons at the top of this blog to support us on amazon, buying coffee or restaurant gift cards.  And, our Adopt Together profile is also still up and running for tax-deductible donations.

Thank you for joining our family in our process to adopt a child into our forever family, so that they may forever know unconditional love for us and from their Heavenly Father!

Big Changes

As I am learning more and more, adoption is not typically a straight path to a final destination.  It is a process that twists and winds, dips and dives and eventually you end up exactly where God wanted you all along.  And, for us, we have twisted, winded, dipped and dived and now find ourselves adopting from a different country!  Yep, it's true, after much prayer and thoughtful consideration, we have decided to pursue an adoption from China, rather than Ethiopia.  This change did not come quickly and was not easy to make.  But, we do so now with confidence that this is what God is calling our family to do.  When we first started this process about a year ago, we looked into many different countries and adoption opportunities.  The two countries that kept coming back up were China and Ethiopia, but China seemed to have all of these huge barriers and so we decided that door was not open to us and moved forward with an adoption from Ethiopia.  Since then, without us seeking or asking him to do so, God has stripped away all of those barriers and has pointed us back to China instead.  I don't think we are saying "no" to an adoption from Ethiopia forever, but for the time being.  We are SO incredibly excited about this change and to see what and who God has in store for us.  And, speaking of the WHO...it is always so amazing to see God's perfect timing play out.  We made the decision to change countries this past Sunday night.  I spoke to our case worker on Monday morning and she started the process to change over our paperwork (which at this stage doesn't require much additional work).  On Tuesday evening, I got a call from our agency about a sweet 3 year old boy.  So, my request to those of you that are following and reading this rarely updated blog, is that you join us in pray for God to give us His confirmation as to whether or not this is THE child God intends to join our forever family!  A few weeks ago, my bible study teacher, gave us this quote, "When you are walking with the Lord, change is always in your favor."  Well, I sure hope so because "change" seems to be our family motto right now.  Stay tuned...

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.  He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.  He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. (Ephesians 1:3-8)

Step One...DONE!

We are one step closer to meeting the next precious member of our family!  YAY!  We have completed our home study and are just waiting for our case worker to put it all together.  I say waiting, but we are not quite to the waiting phase of this adoption yet.  Now, we are on to our next set of paperwork for our dossier (the set of documents that gets sent to Ethiopia).  So, what does that mean, you ask?  Well, from what I can tell so far, that basically means that we get to re-do all the paperwork from our home study, but this time it has to be notarized.  FUN!  We even get to do our fingerprints AGAIN!  Sometimes in this process I find myself getting really worked up and annoyed by the insane amount of paperwork, but then I just think about that sweet little one waiting for us in Ethiopia, and I find the strength to sit down and get back to work!  Thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers and support!